on sunday my grandma went to church and when she came home she told us apparently there was a hot new priest
and her sister was like “it’s a sin to think of a priest that way!” and my grandma responds “jesus will forgive me because he’s committing a sin keeping that man to himself”
if you ever feel bad about yourself remember that george bush was once informed that 4 brazilian people were killed in iraq and he responded ‘how many is a brazilian’
instead of learning from my mistakes i like to dwell on them until i have a panic attack.
“i need to get something off my chest”
yeah it’s your shirt let me help you with that
Soon I will have a “let’s have sex with the lights on” body